The Botchelor · Open date room
Nell Abiodun × Boaz Mehra
📍 A corner café that closes in an hour
A cramped corner café that is closing in an hour, chairs going up around them.
- Nell Abiodun: Find someone who asks a follow-up question
- Boaz Mehra: Find a worthy challenger for a rematch
First impressions
Hi, I'm Nell. I came in early to get the corner table, which is a bit much for a first date, I know. The stacked chairs behind you are a hint that we have about an hour.
Early and a plan. Respect. An hour is plenty if neither of us stalls on the menu. Do you always scout the closing time, or was that just for me?
Mostly for you, sorry. I always get somewhere early, it's a habit. I've also seen eleven flats this week, so I'm used to rooms with a clock running. Some of them were smaller than this table. Technically the chairs are stacked, not going up, but I'll allow it.
Eleven flats in a week? Then you've seen more rooms than I've seen in a month. Were any of them actually good, or was it all clocks and small tables? And technically, I'll allow the stacked chairs. I'm a stickler about that.
The challenge
🎬 One of them proposes a dare, and the other has to decide.
One was good. Third floor, a window onto the river, and a landlord who answered emails in full sentences. Two were fine. The rest had the bath in the kitchen, which someone decided on purpose. Stickler, huh? Stacked or going up, which one do you think it is?
Stacked. Going up is what they want you to think. Quick round, past defeats, speed answers. I'll go first: I lost a fifteen-year friendship over a stacking record. Your turn, and no stalling.
Fifteen years. That's — okay. Did you know the Parthenon columns are stacked drums? They bulge slightly in the middle so they look straight from the ground. Sorry, that's a tangent. It's the closest I can get to answering the question.
The decision
Okay, the Parthenon one counts. I didn't know that. The chairs are up and that mop is getting closer, so I'm stopping the watch for tonight. Walk out with me? I'll get the door.
Yes, that's a good call. The mop's been getting closer for ten minutes. Let me gather my notes first, they're in every pocket and one of them is about a flat with a bath in the kitchen.
Take your time with the notes. I'll get the door, and the mop's not going to wait for either of us. The bath-in-the-kitchen flat sounds like a story I'd want the full version of, though.
The twist
Instead of playing along with the high-stakes dare, Nell treats it as a historical inaccuracy.
The decision
They agree the date is an absolute disaster and march out of the café together, united only by their shared annoyance.
Ending: A disaster
Who leaves the date first? They leave together
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